There was a chill in the room. With a feeling of fear that had been calmed, spinning circles around me, I took a deep breath. As I blew out the pent up air in my lungs - every fiber of my body relaxed. What is about to happen is bigger then I could ever imagine. It was not in my power, I was, but the vessel in which it would ride to go the distance of the journey. I knew that Heavenly Father loved me with all of his heart. I know that he knows me very personally. He knows my desire to be a mother. I knew I was helping him give one of his most special spirits a chance at life. What I didn't know was that he trusted me on a very high level. He knew he could count on me. He was relying on me to make the right choices in my life, to help build his kingdom.
Oh dear, I felt that, I felt the knife run up my stomach. I said it out loud and everybody looks at the anesthiologist. He adjusts the medications in the epidural -and - instantly - I feel nothing.
As precious moments pass before my daughter is brought out into the world, I have feelings of peace and hope. I feel that all is well, and everything will be OK! I remember thinking, Oh, she is going to be fine. She will get to run and play with my other two children at home. We will all love her so much!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I am so glad I found this blog. We seem to travel in the same circle of bloggy friends. I'll be back for the rest of the story.
ReplyDelete