Monday, October 21, 2013


September 10, 2013    I am just coming back from the operating room where I received a whole new left knee. I didn't realize that I was going to have to participate.  I was in the operating room and my doctor turned on my favorite music.  They covered all of me except my left leg.  "I'm thinking, I'm still awake!"  Everyone moved in closer and Dr Brady moved in and felt for the vein in my leg and he stuck the needle in it. I said, "Excuse me, do I have to participate in this operation?"  Then the next thing I know I'm being put in my bed, in room number 210.  Everything is fine and I'm down for the night so my husband and daughter leave after a long day.
All of a sudden peopled my room again, they are trying to wake me.  They see that I'm blue and not breathing.  They talk to me, they turn on the light, they touch me -- my eyes roll -- but nothing.  The nurse runs to get the reversal drug.  I had been given Oxy Cotton and my body wasn't accepting it.  I remember standing at the end of my bed and asking, "am I going to die?"  Then I ask, "Where's my John and JoDell, and I want my daughter "Casy".  John was called and told to come back quick, something was wrong.  JoDell had a feeling that something was wrong and she put a call into the hospital.  Jen, my nurse, ask her who Casy was and she was told that Casey was my daughter that died a long time ago. 

I learned (at a very young age) that my Father in Heaven heard my prayers, and, according to my faith, he would always answer them.  "I know that this is True".  There was a women standing in my room at the back of the bathroom door.  She wasn't moving because of all of the commotion going on with the staff coming in and out.  As it cleared out, she moved to the middle of the room.  Then she moved next to my bed.  Then she was gone.

My prayer was answered.  I ask where Casey was and she was allowed to come.  My John came back and my daughter JoDell came and stayed with me through the night. 

John spoke with Jen, my nurse, and together they figured out best care for my pain.

If you were to ask me, Do I believe in miracles?"  I would have to say, "most definitely".

Saturday, September 7, 2013


Casey is so close to me today! Every once and awhile I am blessed with the hand of mercy and I am able to see way beyond my years and into a place where only angles are permitted. A place where things don't have any weight and can move without any care.  Where words have only one meaning  "PURE LOVE'. In it's simplest form, without any conditions or expectations.  As I begin to really enjoy this space I am taken back to the day of "freedom" that I experienced in the Intensive Care Unit.  I arrived and was washing up and putting a sterile gown on and I said hello to Gene.  She said come see, Casey is free!  She was breathing on her own. No more breathing tube, no more breaths being given to her. She was using her own lungs - pushing air in and out.   She can do it!

This was a great day. She not only was able to breath without the help of a respirator, she was able to make a noise.  I was finally able to here her voice.  She was sick, so very, very sick.
Gene ask me is I'd like to hold her.  My heart jumped and I sat in the rocking chair.  Gene carefully moved the wires and tubes closer to me, then gently lifted Casey's tiny body.  She laid her on my chest, her tiny head was under my chin.  Gene laid her blanket over her so we could cuddle.  And that we did.