Sunday, March 28, 2010


"Hurry, quick, go find Casey, her wait is almost over. There have been complications but it's time for her to go to earth and take her body. She is going to have to struggle for awhile, but I know that she can do it. She is one of the strongest spirit daughters here. She will be able to touch many lives, in her family, and her family's ward. In the mission fields where aunts and uncles serve and at Skyline High where her daddy teaches. The faith of her monther and father have allowed her to stay a little bit longer. . ."

Thursday, March 25, 2010


As I lay in recovery, my mother standing by my side, my husband came in to check on me. All I can remember about that moment is that I told him, "don't let her die, please don't let her die".

John went back to the ICU and he asked one of the doctors to help him give her a medical blessing. They gave her the name she was to be known by while here on this earth. It was Casey Collett Geilmann. He was inspired to give to her the blessing of life and patience.

A nurse rolled an isolette into my recovery room. She said that they had stabilized Casey and that the life flight helicopter had arrived and was going to take her to the University Medical Center, where she could be looked at.

The isolette was rolled close to my bed. I could see a little round baby girl with lots of dark hair. Her coloring had pinked up, now that oxygen was circulating her body. She looked so beautiful. I wanted to hold her so badly and I imagined that she wanted to be held my her mother too. It was a very devastating feeling being separated like that after carrying her so close to my heart for 9 months.

I could hear the sound of the helicopter's blades swishing through the air and the engines roared hard to lift the helicopter off the ground. I didn't know what to think or feel, it all seemed to happen so fast.

John and my mother left to go to the University Hospital to be with Casey. I was alone in the recovery room. Then I was rolled down the hall to my room. I was situated in my bed and left alone through the night.

Saturday, March 20, 2010


The two doctors working on me resumed their conversation. I felt tugging and pulling and pressure and more tugging and pulling. Next I heard a flood of water fall on the floor. Followed by another gush of water and a third gush of water. "What the heck? I've never felt that before".

It became so quiet in that room you could have cut it with a knife. Nothing happened! Still nothing happened! There was supposed to be the sound of a baby crying her way into the world. But nothing! What's wrong, I said? ----- What's wrong? ----- What's wrong? ----- The anesthesiologist speaks up. Everything's fine, he says! I'm thinking, "nice try guys". My voice raises and my blood pressure spikes. The only one that has said anything is patting me on the shoulder, calm down, calm down. "NO, NOW WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY BABY," I said. Very calmly the assistant surgeon said, "Everything is not fine. Your baby is in trouble". Dr. Barton turns quickly and hands my new daughter over to the pediatrition. Who imediately lays her on a bed under warm lights and installs a respirater in her lungs. He adjusts the oxygen to 100% and he adjusts the breaths to 100%. MEANING, she's alive, with the help of the machine.

Thursday, March 18, 2010


There was a chill in the room. With a feeling of fear that had been calmed, spinning circles around me, I took a deep breath. As I blew out the pent up air in my lungs - every fiber of my body relaxed. What is about to happen is bigger then I could ever imagine. It was not in my power, I was, but the vessel in which it would ride to go the distance of the journey. I knew that Heavenly Father loved me with all of his heart. I know that he knows me very personally. He knows my desire to be a mother. I knew I was helping him give one of his most special spirits a chance at life. What I didn't know was that he trusted me on a very high level. He knew he could count on me. He was relying on me to make the right choices in my life, to help build his kingdom.

Oh dear, I felt that, I felt the knife run up my stomach. I said it out loud and everybody looks at the anesthiologist. He adjusts the medications in the epidural -and - instantly - I feel nothing.

As precious moments pass before my daughter is brought out into the world, I have feelings of peace and hope. I feel that all is well, and everything will be OK! I remember thinking, Oh, she is going to be fine. She will get to run and play with my other two children at home. We will all love her so much!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010


I'm sorry for the hold up. I haven't been able to find the time to pay attention to my story. I've been trying to obtain Casey's records from the hospital, they say they can't find them and, am I sure she was at that hospital? Oh, maybe I just imagined it! I told them that I would be happy to come and look for them. There's still hope. I also wasn't able to go to the orientation so I could become a volunteer at the hospital Casey lived. I found out that I had pneumonia. I want to go into the ICU and rock the babies. I'm all better and I have another orientation scheduled next Tuesday evening. Please keep checking back, this story is very important to me and it will be done this year.