AN ANGEL IS WAITING

"Hurry, quick, go find Casey, her wait is almost over. There have been complications but it's time for her to go to earth and take her body. She is going to have to struggle for awhile, but I know that she can do it. She is one of the strongest spirit daughters here. She will be able to touch many lives, in her family, and her family's ward. In the mission fields where aunts and uncles serve and at Skyline High where her daddy teaches. The faith of her monther and father have allowed her to stay a little bit longer. . ."

"DON'T LET HER DIE"

As I lay in recovery, my mother standing by my side, my husband came in to check on me. All I can remember about that moment is that I told him, "don't let her die, please don't let her die".

John went back to the ICU and he asked one of the doctors to help him give her a medical blessing. They gave her the name she was to be known by while here on this earth. It was Casey Collett Geilmann. He was inspired to give to her the blessing of life and patience.

A nurse rolled an isolette into my recovery room. She said that they had stabilized Casey and that the life flight helicopter had arrived and was going to take her to the University Medical Center, where she could be looked at.

The isolette was rolled close to my bed. I could see a little round baby girl with lots of dark hair. Her coloring had pinked up, now that oxygen was circulating her body. She looked so beautiful. I wanted to hold her so badly and I imagined that she wanted to be held my her mother too. It was a very devastating feeling being separated like that after carrying her so close to my heart for 9 months.

I could hear the sound of the helicopter's blades swishing through the air and the engines roared hard to lift the helicopter off the ground. I didn't know what to think or feel, it all seemed to happen so fast.

John and my mother left to go to the University Hospital to be with Casey. I was alone in the recovery room. Then I was rolled down the hall to my room. I was situated in my bed and left alone through the night.

WHAT'S HAPPENING

The two doctors working on me resumed their conversation. I felt tugging and pulling and pressure and more tugging and pulling. Next I heard a flood of water fall on the floor. Followed by another gush of water and a third gush of water. "What the heck? I've never felt that before".

It became so quiet in that room you could have cut it with a knife. Nothing happened! Still nothing happened! There was supposed to be the sound of a baby crying her way into the world. But nothing! What's wrong, I said? ----- What's wrong? ----- What's wrong? ----- The anesthesiologist speaks up. Everything's fine, he says! I'm thinking, "nice try guys". My voice raises and my blood pressure spikes. The only one that has said anything is patting me on the shoulder, calm down, calm down. "NO, NOW WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY BABY," I said. Very calmly the assistant surgeon said, "Everything is not fine. Your baby is in trouble". Dr. Barton turns quickly and hands my new daughter over to the pediatrition. Who imediately lays her on a bed under warm lights and installs a respirater in her lungs. He adjusts the oxygen to 100% and he adjusts the breaths to 100%. MEANING, she's alive, with the help of the machine.

I TOOK A DEEP BREATH

There was a chill in the room. With a feeling of fear that had been calmed, spinning circles around me, I took a deep breath. As I blew out the pent up air in my lungs - every fiber of my body relaxed. What is about to happen is bigger then I could ever imagine. It was not in my power, I was, but the vessel in which it would ride to go the distance of the journey. I knew that Heavenly Father loved me with all of his heart. I know that he knows me very personally. He knows my desire to be a mother. I knew I was helping him give one of his most special spirits a chance at life. What I didn't know was that he trusted me on a very high level. He knew he could count on me. He was relying on me to make the right choices in my life, to help build his kingdom.

Oh dear, I felt that, I felt the knife run up my stomach. I said it out loud and everybody looks at the anesthiologist. He adjusts the medications in the epidural -and - instantly - I feel nothing.

As precious moments pass before my daughter is brought out into the world, I have feelings of peace and hope. I feel that all is well, and everything will be OK! I remember thinking, Oh, she is going to be fine. She will get to run and play with my other two children at home. We will all love her so much!

WHAT'S THE HOLD UP

I'm sorry for the hold up. I haven't been able to find the time to pay attention to my story. I've been trying to obtain Casey's records from the hospital, they say they can't find them and, am I sure she was at that hospital? Oh, maybe I just imagined it! I told them that I would be happy to come and look for them. There's still hope. I also wasn't able to go to the orientation so I could become a volunteer at the hospital Casey lived. I found out that I had pneumonia. I want to go into the ICU and rock the babies. I'm all better and I have another orientation scheduled next Tuesday evening. Please keep checking back, this story is very important to me and it will be done this year.

My Daughter

Casey Collett Geilmann - Born October 14, 1978 at the Cottonwood Hospital, located in Murry Utah. Her delivering doctor was Dr. Richard Barton assisted by Dr. Clark with the receiving pediatrician being Dr. Hightower.

"Her Daddy and Dr. Clark gave her a name and a blessing. Her
Daddy blessed her to be healed and to live."


As I lay in the Labor room at Cottonwood Hospital on October 14, 1978, I closed my eyes, trying to get a grip on myself. I was thinking about the long last 9 months up to this moment. This pregnancy was so hard. This baby is small, but full term. I, on the other hand was HUGE. Big enough to deliver triplets, and being a small baby, there was great concern.

I remember thinking, Cindy, you can't let anyone know that you are frightened. You've got to keep your feelings to yourself. You know how things turn out to be ok and you realize that you were being crazy for a moment? It didn't work, I kept shaking and was very nervous, plus I couldn't breathe. My doctor kept coming in and out, checking me, saying, "somethings wrong, we need to be prepared". Oh great!

Everything started to be different from that moment on. I had had two C-sections before and this just didn't feel right. Several nurses started coming in and out. I realized that one was too nervous so she'd go out and another one would come in, then another one. Nobody was talking to me. As I felt their hesitation my, fear began to grow. They kept coming, in and out, in and out. 8 of them to be exact. Now I realize that they just wanted to see my big 45 centimeter belly. How rude!

Ok, I was finally ready. I was wheeled into the operating room. I have never felt so alone and frightened as I did that moment, being rolled down the corridor. As I was lifted onto the operating table, WOW, did I start to panic. I couldn't breathe so I was tipped to the right side and a pillow was put under my stomach to hold it up. I remember thinking, why are there two doctors here and why aren't they saying anything to me. They were talking about some ball game.

The anesthesiologist began administering the epidural. He looked at me and (in a kind voice) said, you've got to calm down. "CALM DOWN!" I wanted to scream, run away, forget it, anything but calm down, and nobody is helping here. I was scared I felt trapped, by myself, in a bad situation. Never in my life had I felt so desperate for help. And the only ones that could have helped me were talking about the basketball game.

In fact, the words "help me" were coming (very softly) from my lips. The anesthesiologist responded, "what did you say"? "What did you say"?

I was crying, I was shaking, I was sick, but I couldn't let my doctors know of my weakness. Where in the world did I learn that? One good thing that I did know how to do -- was -- pray. "Please Father in Heaven, I need help, please help me in this situation". Almost instantly A warm feeling came into my hand, a calmness overtook my body, and there was an aura of tenderness around me. I knew then, that I wasn't alone. We could proceed.

My Fairy In A Jar

I first saw this beautiful piece of art on a blogger friends site, "Feathered Nest". I was very much touched by it's tenderness. You see, some 31 years ago my little 4 month old daughter died, after the battle of a life time. When I look at this young fairy in this bottle I can't help but see my little girl at about 2 years of age.

She sits at eye level on a shelf in front of me and my computer. She will inspire me as I go back 31 years to a time and place, that I now know, was one of the greatest experiences of my life.

You are welcome to follow along as I tell her story. Please join my followers, so I'll know your there. I'm sure I will be inspired to have special little drawings.